Find the best way to get your ex husband back after separation when he has moved on and is with another woman. These tips will help to reconcile after divorce and make your hubby fall in love with you again.
Wanting to get back with your ex is more common than you think. Some people think that once you finalize your settlement papers you lose any and all hope of any type of reconciliation. But contrary to these beliefs there are many couples who found love with each other again after being separated. Keep in mind it’s not going to be a walk in the park, but it’s possible. Before starting with how to get your ex husband back, keep in mind that this must be done for good. If you are looking for the short cut fix or the manipulation games or revenge type thing then this is not for you. But if you want to get him back and keep him then read on.
WHAT WENT WRONG?
It’s obvious that something went wrong the last time. But knowing what it is can help you this time around so keeping that in mind try to be as honest as you can be when reading this. Blaming him and not accepting that you made some mistakes too will prevent the recovery. Here are two most common reasons why some marriage doesn’t work out.
LACK OF COMMUNICATION
Lack of communication is the only real reason why couples break up. All the other reasons are just derivatives of this one. I am sure you have heard this one before, but it is the cure for all your pain. If you don’t talk about how you feel then how is he suppose to know about it and vice versa is also true. Keep in mind men don’t generally share their real feelings that easily, you have to pry it out of them.
And my guess is you did it in the beginning when it was really good and hence you got married. But somewhere in between you two lost that connection and then things just started falling apart from there on. Then the panic sets in, the insecurities takes hold of you both, then the fighting starts and the results are in front of you. For now keep all this in mind as we will talk about this a bit later.
This is the one reason when the whole picture changes. This is when he or you instead of working on your marriage sought out comfort elsewhere. The whole reason why two people get married is to have that someone to share your life with. And now instead of sharing your feelings you or your husband are seeking comfort elsewhere. Believe it or not this is like taking a short cut to breaking up or divorce. So, if he cheated then too you want him back, good on you. But if you cheated and now you regret it and want him back then that’s possible too. We will talk about this as well, so read on.
WHY DO YOU WANT YOUR EX HUSBAND BACK
Let’s get something out of the way beforehand so we don’t have to second guess ourselves later. Why do you want him back? That’s something to look into before you put in some work.
Is it that you are jealous that he is moving on without you? Or is it that you are scared to live without him? Or is it because of the kids?
Keep in mind these are not the reason to get your ex back, these are the place to make compromise and not love. So, if these are the only reasons you got than look deeper and find the real reason why you want him back. The only real reason and the right reason is that you can live without him but you love him so much that you don’t ever want to.
STEPS TO GET HIM BACK?
Now that we know the reason why you guys separated and the real reason why you want him back, let’s start working on how to actually get him back. Here you need to follow the simple steps and this might help to make your ex husband return to you.
After your separation or any break up it’s best to follow the no contact rule. If you don’t know what no contact rule is then here it is in short. You should have no contact with your ex for a month or a certain amount of time. But when you were married to someone it’s hard to follow no contact rule, so you might want to try going for limited contact. The difference between the two is that you make contact but even when you do, you keep it short and to the point. Limited contact is easy to get back from when you want to start seeing him again where as no contact gets a bit tricky. So, my recommendation is to have limited contact and to the point but always be pleasant during these short meets.
WORK ON YOURSELF
You might not want to hear this one but you too made some mistakes or fell short at some places in your marriage. I am not saying that it’s entirely your fault just suggesting that both of you made some mistakes. But now you have time where you don’t have to worry about anything or anyone, so you can use this time to work on yourself a bit. This way when you two do get back together it’s for the best.
Getting a workout done is helpful in two ways. First is its takes your mind of all the frustration of limited contact period. Secondly it’s good for your health and helps you get in the best physical shape possible so your hubby might get awe by seeing the transition in you.
Now that you have some free time it’s best to pick up some good habits. No, I am not talking about your manners or anything, just asking you to look into things that you love to do. See, there are always those things that we want to do but won’t because of what he might think or some other reasons. But now you are free of those bonds and you can do whatever you want to. Just don’t make it a bad habit of drinking or drugs. People usually pick up painting, trekking, dancing or even learning to play a musical instrument. So, go ahead and take your pick.
HAVE SOME FUN
The most important thing in life is to have some fun while living it. And in this scenario going out with friends to clubs or having a get together might be a good thing. When trying to get your ex husband back its best to have some support system which can help you during difficult times. This part will also help you realize that you can have fun being single and without him too.
This is where limited contact helps the transition more easily as compared to no contact rule. When you are talking to your ex husband even though it’s not something personal then it won’t seem out of the blue when you two go for some drinks or coffee from time to time. Remember this is friends phase and not a relationship, yet. You can also go for group outings if both of you are comfortable with it.
PAST IS HISTORY
When you two are getting friendly avoid bringing up the past, as this would just ruin your ongoing repo. Forget about the past, now that you are trying to get your ex husband back. If you can’t forgive him and forget about it then getting him back would get real hard.
SECOND FIRST DATE
It’s natural that when you get friendly with your old flame some sparks will fly. So, sooner or later you two are going to have that conversation about giving it a go. But now you have to keep in mind that it’s not going to be how it was, so you need to take it slow. Remember not to rush into things or get clingy and desperate. So, keeping all this in mind go ahead and start dating your ex husband again.
HOW TO KEEP HIM THIS TIME?
Now that you have a chance to get together it would prudent to know how to keep him this time for good. So here are some things you should and shouldn’t do when trying to get back together with your ex.
Just because you went on a date doesn’t mean you are getting back together so don’t go on telling people about that. In short try not going to fast instead try taking things slow for a change. Try dating like you are strangers and get to know each other even if you do know them. You never know what new things you might find out about him that you and he forgot to notice about each other.
You need to discuss some stuff and arrive at a mutual agreement before you start telling people about you two. Everything will be a lot easier if you two have agreed upon it beforehand. So try talking to him when you are thinking about where this all is going or if you both want to tell people.
TALK THINGS THROUGH
A lot of stuff goes unsaid either during your relationship and the ending of it. Since you have time before you go ahead make a full commitment it’s best to talk things through. If you think that you won’t be able to control the outcome then try getting the help of an expert. Talking things through lets the other person knows how you feel and hence tackle the one reason of lack of communication with this step.
WATCH OUT FOR OLD PATTERNS
Keep an eye out for old pattern re-emergence. It’s a common thing to get comfortable and eventually return to your old habits. But remember this was the reason that you two got separated in the first place. So, when you see something like this happening, so try working something out for it.
Always remember that nothing is lost forever and if you want your ex husband back you can get him back. But my only request is that you don’t forget about yourself in the process. Just keep in mind that if he does not want to return then you can be happy with and without him.