Now that you are gone, gone far away, and never coming back, I am sitting here missing you every breath I take. I am in a situation where I feel nothing else than lacking you, and I wish I could do something about what I feel, but I can’t. And knowing that I can’t do anything about it, it makes me go sadder and woeful.
All I can think of doing is, writing stories, memories, and poems about how deeply I miss you inside. I wish there were some debugger that could debug the bug of missing you deeply, but there is no such thing existing which makes the situation more poignant.
Yet I am trying to gather up all the words and phrases I can describe my feelings in, speaking of lacking, to tell the story of how a state of missing can get somebody killed inside.
What a beautiful that quote of J is, that says: “There is nothing that can make a room emptier than the feeling of wanting somebody to be in it.”
How Missing You Is Killing Me Inside:
In a hunt, to examine what words should be used to pass on the feeling of being miserable and depress, I found no words matching the amount of feels I have got in myself now. Yet I am still struggling to tell you how much I miss you, and how it affects me more than it should be affecting me. It is getting harder for me to survive and dwell this way, yet you have no idea of what I feel inside me, or even if I am missing you or not.
Missing You is a Drug now:
Only if you knew how much I miss you, you would come back I guess. And if there was something that could let you know how much I mean it, you might think of staying, for a while at least.
I am wondering if I had a flower for every time I think of you, it might be easier for me to let you know by the garden full of flowers that would grow because of missing you.
Even if you didn’t love me for a second, I would accept the fact now. I am beginning to accept which you, by no means loved me. And it is depressing, due to the fact, I do not assume that you see how stunning you’ are to me. Your face turned into the light; that chased away the shadows, each nightmare, every worry. However, you burned out, and now I’m studying and learning to be afraid of the darkness all over again.
But I have to admit that I felt some type of storm that happened inside me when I first saw her. Most of what I felt that day can be described by the sayings of Hubert Martin below:
“ I wasn’t expecting anything when I met her, but then this vaguely familiar feeling surfaced. It had been a long time since I’ve felt it, I was almost convinced I wasn’t capable of feeling it anymore. I felt alive. I took fuller breaths, and there were depths to my heartbeats. It felt too good to be true, and then it was. Then, another feeling crept inside that I had desperately tried to forget and repress. Hurt. Pain. Agony. Its claws tore every inch of flesh they could reach. “
Though I was rejected since the very first day, I believe it was a journey worth remembering. But darling, I want you to know that I am missing you, and it’s killing me inside.