Find the best way to forgive your ex boyfriend or girlfriend after a breakup. Whether your he/she dumped you or cheated on you, these tips will help you move on in life.
If forgiving them is what you need to move on then what to do. You know or you think that forgiving them is the right thing to do if not for them then for you. If you don’t know how to do it, then you are at the right place. Let me warn you beforehand that it’s not an easy fix and there is no shortcut for it. It is very hard to accept that you have to forgive your ex for whatever they have done or said to you. It can be an intensive process, but it’s certainly better than holding onto a grudge that’s running your life. If you are willing to go ahead then here is one way to go through it.
BE CALM AND PATIENT
If you are thinking of going on a rampant or picking a fight because you are angry at someone then don’t. Now is not the time to go out and create problems where there isn’t one instead it might be better to calm down a bit. It’s not going to be easy but try to be patient first and think clearly what you are doing. Being patient is one of the toughest things to do, as break up is so fresh right now but it is what’s necessary for now. Right now is not the time get drunk or do something worse but chill and relax a bit because clearly you just got out of a stressful relationship. This might just be the first step to forgive your ex after breakup.
LETTING GO THE HARD FEELINGS
You need to let go of the past and embrace the future. I know it’s not easy but reminiscing in the past is not going to fix anything for you. In fact, it’s going to make you feel stuck and you will be sooner or later. I am not saying to let go right now, it’s going to take some time. But if you are going to do it then why not start now. It’s a process so let’s start with the things that you do control rather than things you can’t.
Sometime back I heard a story of how a guy let go using his password “Forgive her”. He would have to type it in every time to unlock his mobile and computer as well. He used to get irritated in the first week typing it because it reminded him of what he had to go through, but still didn’t change it because he wanted to get over it.
In the second week he started thinking about what went wrong and what could’ve been and by the third week he was able to accept that he made some mistakes as well. But it wasn’t until the end of fourth week that he didn’t feel anything bad for his ex. Finally, he was able to have a pleasant conversation with her if called upon.
This is the perfect example of what could be done if you could just let go. The best part of this story is when the guy confesses that how good it feels to just let go the hard feelings. This negativity and grudge inside you would just ruined his day and eventually would have ruined his life.
Think about it, wouldn’t it be good to just feel good and have a laugh sooner rather than later. So, just let go, forgive your ex and be happy.
FOCUS ON POSITIVE PARTS
This plays a very vital role in letting go which eventually leads to forgiveness. Focusing on the positive parts of a relationship would serve as a reminder when you start resenting the other person. Every relationship has the good parts and bad parts. And yes, for a while the bad far outweighed the goods and you guys broke up. But now is the time for letting go and for that focusing on the best parts of your relationship will definitely help. If you can’t think of something than keep in mind that this is someone you loved and if you can’t do it for them then do it for yourself and just let go.
TALK TO SOMEONE
This all can be a bit overwhelming process, so it’s always good to have someone to talk to if it gets too much for you. Talking to someone always helps as this gives you an opportunity to let it all out. Keep in mind this person is suppose to be someone who you can trust explicitly and not someone who is just going to blab it all to your ex. This way you have yourself a support system and you don’t have to go through it again. You can also consult an expert for professional help. Don’t be ashamed of it because what you are trying to do is nothing short of being noble.
TALK TO YOUR EX
After a while if you feel comfortable enough you might want to talk to your ex about it. Remember you are not trying to start a fight or even here to win an argument, just here to get some closure. So, just shut up and let them say their peace and if you don’t like just be patient. You have come so far now, why go and ruin it now. Just tell yourself that you are not doing this for them, you are doing it for you. This way you will actually learn something listening to their perspective and you may also discover some new things about yourself.
Showing some compassion is the most humane thing you can do. I understand that this is the person who has hurt you but you need to know that this person is hurting as well even if they don’t show it as much. Trying being as polite as you can be and that would be enough. Think about it this way, you at least know that it wasn’t you who messed it up they don’t even have that peace. If not for them show some compassion because you are a good person at heart and you loved this person if only for a fleeting moment there.
WITH TIME YOUR WOUNDS WILL HEAL
Doing all these things is not going to be that easy but it will get easier with time and practice. They say time heals all wounds, but that’s only partly true because you have to work on it and with time it all gets easy enough. I am not saying that it won’t come up now and then but with time it will fade away, but only if you are willing to forgive your ex and let go grudges. If you keep holding on to that grudge then nothing can make it easy and time itself will serve you as a cruel reminder as it waits for no man.
LEARN FROM EXPERIENCE
Everything that happens to you in life teaches you something. So, learn from this experience and use it to make your next relationship work a bit better. Always keep in mind that each relationship tests our limits and lets us know we draw our boundaries. So, focus on how this relationship has helped you grow. If you find a perfect guy for you then you should be thankful to his ex-girlfriends because they help make him perfect. You see, he learned from the mistakes he made with each one of them and now he is perfect for you. So, you see each of them helped to make him perfect for you. Just saying that nothing in life is a total waste. This doesn’t have to be as well if you could just learn from this experience.
How are you going to forgive your ex if you are not even willing to forgive yourself first? Yeah, you made some mistakes in your relationship but now you need to accept it and move on. There’s nothing really that you can do about it now. So why keep punishing yourself over it, why not just forgive yourself and try to move on. Think about it, most people are tougher on themselves than they are on someone else. Keeping this entire in mind I say to just let go and forget your relationship. This will not only help you in forgiving your ex, but also will let you grow and have better relationships in future.
MOVE ON IN LIFE
Once you have done all of the above mentioned things you will realize that you are already ready to move on. Now all you need to do is acknowledge the fact that it happened and you dealt with it. This will show you that you can take a hit and it will prevent you from being afraid to take a hit in the future. Keep in mind that if you got scared on every turn of your new relationships then your life would become real difficult real soon. You need to know that doing all this not only helped you to forgive your ex, but also helped you to forgive yourself and in turn prepared you for what’s to come.
Now that you know all this try being patient while going through it. And remember once you are done with this you will see yourself coming out stronger than ever.