Find the top ten things that ruin a relationship leading to breakup/divorce. To happily live with your partner you must avoid these relationship mistakes.
There are certain behaviors that at the beginning of the relationship may go unnoticed, but over time when they are repeated everyday steadily becomes a burden, to the point that in many cases is a matter of breaking the relationship. Behaviors such as spying mobile of spouse to check who called or check chat history on whatsapp, eavesdrop on their telephone calls, often criticize their relatives, constantly demanding to change or nagging are the top things that can destroy a relationship. Here are the habits and behaviors you must avoid in-order to protect your relationship from cracking.
KEEPING YOUR MOUTH SHUT
With the excuse to avoid fighting, one of the spouse is either always silent or blame the other.
But finally, what that attitude does is it generates greater fight in future, because at some point the element that was silent will come out much stronger than it could have come at the right time. Being silent to maintain peace is not good, just because to avoid the confrontation.
One of the woman that I know separated from her seven years of marriage. She acknowledged that there were several bad habits that contributed to end their relationship. One of them was to always remain silent, “swallowed whole to avoid problems, so he would not be angry.”
If you are interested in the relationship you have to confront your partner with respect. If you are very upset and angry then first calm down you, but talk. Silence is a form of aggression and not talking or expressing is like creating a volcano full of anger and frustration which can later erupt and ruin your happy relationship.
Everyone is entitled to a space which he/she can use it privately alone or with friends and this is not lost by having a partner. Besides being an illegal behavior, spying on mobiles, emails and secretly entering in your partner’s Facebook to see who gives him/her likes. Also trying to listen to your partner calls secretly, this is a fatal behavior for the relationship because it is a clear sign of distrust and low self-esteem of the person doing it, until there is a very strong reason to do so. It is a lack of self-love, because it is assumed that the relationship should be built on trust. Invading the space as well as privacy of your partner is one of the top things that ruin a relationship.
COMPARING YOUR PARTNER
“If you were as tidy as your dad or your brother or any friend ” … “You’re just like your mother wasteful” … Comparing your partner with his brother, friend, father, mother or ex is not healthy because all people are different and bring different things to the relationship. Comparisons invalidate the couple just with the complicity and charm of the relationship. This leads to great psychological injury to the partner because it makes them feel worthless. When someone compares they are invalidating what they do and eliminating their individuality against others and that it is quite delicate. It’s like hitting the spouse emotionally which provide wounds difficult to heal.
CRITICIZING EACH OTHERS FAMILIES
Criticizing your spouse family is a hand tool that often is thrown when you have a discussion because we know that it strongly hurts the other. Phrases which are meant to criticize their parents, brother or sisters should be avoided to the maximum. Although you may feel it is normal, but it deeply hurts and is definitely one most common things that ruin a relationship.
Criticizing each others families is sign that you are destroying the relationship. “To me my wife told me that my family was picky, poked and fought for things like that. Criticizing the mother, the father, sisters is actually like messing with an aspect of your partner life, the feelings they have for them which then reaches the highest point and cracks the marital bond.
STARRING SCENES OF JEALOUSY
Living with someone who is jealous, insecure and who often continually makes scenes of jealousy, becomes a reason for conflict. It is like doing everything necessary so that the relationship ends. Insecurity and jealousy is one of the factors that ruins a relationship. Normal jealousy if fine, but sometimes people displaying high levels of jealousy may be suffering from some psychological problem. If you want to save your relationship then it is best to take professional help.
REQUIRING THE PARTNER TO CHANGE
When the total change of the other is because you do not agree, in such relationship there is a lot of problem later. It is a mistake to believe that it is right the two partners can try change each other depending upon the situation when after marriage. Think for example, one person controlling your life and making you follow all his/her decision. Can you stay happy in such relationship? If one of the partners is not happy then the relationship cannot run happy which will definitely break it in future. If someone has to change it is by individual decision. It is not healthy to pretend and assume that the partner will change for me.
LACK OF LOVE AND INTIMACY
Do not ruin your sex life. Let love, attention and passion overflow in intimate relationship with your partner. Small surprises from both sides can help each other feel special. Remember that although you both know that you love each other, but still there is a need to display because love is felt. That work, fatigue, boredom, routine and even laziness are obstacles which on a daily basis can lead to problems. Off course work is important, but at the same time relationship is important too and it is your duty to manage both of them properly. Often usually it happens that after being parents all the energy is spent raising the children and gradually the sex life comes down. It is best to speak out and seek solutions to the problems that are inside or outside the bedroom.
Another bad habit that ruin a relationship is mishandling the money of your husband. Mishandling of money is a bad habit that usually ends in bankruptcy and this generally correlates with the separation of the couple. The ideal is to have a common background and a budget that is a beacon which helps you know where all the money is going. You many have heard or experienced that a woman or a man spent cash excessively for their personal use which lead to shortage of money for bills. This leads to tension and fights and believe me it is a one of the common things that destroys a relationship. The contributions go inline with the possibilities depending on the couple. And keep in mind that anyone who stays at home is making a supremely important, equal or greater contribution than giving money.
FIGHTING IN PUBLIC
Fighting in public is like washing your dirty laundry on streets which is to be washed at home. In every relationship there are fights even the most loved couples will experience this. What is necessary is to avoid such fights in public and around your loved ones. When a person fights with their spouse in front of family, friends or strangers and expose something very intimate about his/her partner then this will definitely hurt the self-esteem and security of the spouse. A marital quarrel in public is the beginning of building cracks. Respect for others is lost and generates emotional scars that are difficult to heal.
NOT ACCEPTING MISTAKES
This is again the top reasons that ruins a perfect relationship. There are mistakes done in a relationship, but not accepting it and refusing to apologize can be bad for a couple. If you know its you mistake then apologize because it will not only show that you are mature, but put an end to the fight. Also, it removes all the negativity that developed in a fight. No way you must apologize for every fight, but many a times we realize our mistake and make no effort to say sorry which can destroy your relationship.
Taking a note of all these mistakes will help to maintain a happy running relationship. It is best that you as well as your partner read this list so that you avoid these mistakes.